The emperor’s new clothes were built with Node.js

There are plenty of people lambasting Node.js (see the infamous “Node.js is cancer”) but proponents tend to misunderstand the message and come up with irrelevant counterpoints. It’s made worse because there are two very different classes of people that use Node.js. The first kind of people are those who need highly concurrent servers that can handle many connections at once: HTTP proxies, Websocket chat servers, etc. The second are those who are so dependent on JavaScript that they need to use JS across their browser, server, database, and laundry machine.

I want to address one-by-one all of the strange and misguided arguments for Node.js in one place.

Update: Please keep sending in anything I missed! Moderation of comments will probably continue to lag behind, but I do read them and will continue fixing and tightening up this article as best as I can.

TL;DR: what’s clothing that doesn’t use threads and doesn’t block (anything)?

Node.js is fast!

This is actually too imprecise. Let’s break it down into two separate claims:

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